Blessings

Greetings and apologies for the long space between posts.

This has been an interesting, and challenging six months.

As anyone who has lost a loved one, particularly a spouse, will know – it takes a lot of adjusting to living with part of you missing.

matiz

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Then my daughter was moving house. Except for Sabbaths, I went every day for two weeks to help pack, transport (in my tiny Matiz) and help with the cleaning.

 

When I ended up seriously ill, and hospitalised, she was very upset, thinking she had killed me.

It was my choice. I volunteered to help.

I still have pneumonia, but at least I am home. Bit by bit I am picking up things that are left ‘hanging’.

God is good, and call me mad if you like, but I believe He allowed me to ‘see’ the answers to some lingering questions that haunted me about Geoff’s last illness. I am thinking of putting it in as an ‘Epilogue’ to Geoff’s Last Journeyings, which I will get back to when I can sit and concentrate for longer.

I was taken to hospital. I think they X-Rayed me in bed, then it started… the discussions over me. “Significant consolidation in the …. (lung), and a few other terms that I recognised. I remember thinking, “That’s what they said about Geoff.”

I was quite content to die and wait, like he is, for my resurrection. Still, I remembered that God has the big picture, and simply said, ‘Your will be done.”

oxygen via nasal prongsOxygen, I/V antibiotics and more ‘Geoff stuff’ and I was sent to a ward.

I could not believe it at first. I was taken to the ‘old’ birthing suite. Geoff had been there too. Part of the ward was used as overflow beds when he was having surgery there. Now it was a ‘medical’ ward.

Over the next few days, the treatment was eerily similar. Not allowed out of bed alone at first. Then the indignity of having to use a Zimmer frame LOL. (At least the hospital Geoff was in had modified ‘walkers’.) Walks with oxygen to see how far I could go. So many times I thought, “This is what Geoff went through”. It was oddly comforting. When I spiked another 40.9 temp and they had to call in the RMO, I was given a Salbutamol neb. They explained why they were doing it, and so on, not realising that I had a great deal of experience with those things. Geoff was on several a day.

I found it is possible to lie quietly, resting in God, and be aware of what is going on around me.

Then a Gallium scan was booked… more similarities.

But that is not the point, what I meant was that as I lay there, helpless, with nurses and doctors, physio and OT it was as if I was having a glimpse of what Geoff went through. Oddly it was very comforting, answered a great many ‘I wonder…’ questions, and gave me peace.

God is good text

God is good, and His mercy endures forever.

Susan

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4 thoughts on “Blessings

  1. Patty B

    I did not realize you have been so ill. What a testimony of God’s goodness. Here I am over a year since Tom passed away and my life is still not balanced…and not even close to being adjusted. I just had the living rm and den painted and then rearranged everything to suit my needs, I felt like a woman possessed! That said, in an odd way by rearranging my home I am starting to adjust to the new but not welcomed life of being by myself, which saddens me yet lifts me up. God bless you dear friend as you recuperate and get strong. You have been in my prayers even if I did not realize you were so sick. {{Hugs}}

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    • Hold the Faith

      I still have pneumonia, but at least I am home, can keep the Sabbath and do my daily Bible study and my prayers.

      I felt so guilty when I had to get rid of the armchair that Geoff had to sleep in some nights over the years – before he became SO sick. But it was the size of a small couch… and my concern was that it advertised to everyone who came to the house (tradesmen etc) that I lived alone. Not good, even in Western Australia, where people living alone are become ‘easy’ targets.

      Patty, I am not sure that we are ever balanced again, not after losing part of yourself. With God’s help, we do the best we can… and, I guess, trust Him to bring us the rest of our journey.

      (Hugs) to you too.

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      • Patty B

        Isn’t it sad that people have to be careful of con artists especially after losing someone we love. That was one reason I did not put our address in the obituary, although if they are desperate enough they will find a way to locate it.
        You are right, I just realized that we never do become balanced again, and I am finding my way to living in this new normal. At times it is difficult to trust God but I am thankful He understands and is always by my side filling my life with His presence during those times. Hugs and Gods blessings.

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