Calamities and loneliness

Calamities, sky image

This week, as an old saying goes, ‘the whole world and its brother’ fell on me.

Geoff's chair

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It started out okay, but my first distress was getting rid of Geoff’s chair. It was old, shabby, over the years it had been slept in some nights…  when Geoff was having difficulty breathing.

(It was replaced by two smaller chairs.) I had been worrying about the announcement that one chair made to anyone who came to the house. “I am living alone.”

A neighbour was burgled last week, and that made me feel more vulnerable. We share a garden wall; I heard nothing. Perhaps I was out… it happened during the day.

This area used to be safe. I had gone for walks in the morning, a little before dawn, to enjoy seeing God’s handiwork painting the sky. (One of those sunrises is the background picture on my Hold the Faith website and is tiled as the background to this blog.)

Periodically an electronic police notice will be placed at the local shopping centre, ‘lock up, this is a high burglary area’. (And, a neighbour told me, that recently there was a ‘drug bust’ in our street. )police raid

So it was not without much thinking that the chair went out, to wait for a bulk rubbish pickup. It was when evening came that I started to fret. Geoff had loved that lounge suite. The couch had already gone, to make room for his hospital chair. He approved that, though I think he was sad. He knew I kept the chair, but he never saw it, because he didn’t make it home from the hospice. (They expected him to be able to come home for a while, but he deteriorated more quickly than they had anticipated.)

So while I was fretting over putting out the chair, several major calamities happened. Mostly financial, but reversible, because they were bank and other people’s mistakes, but the biggest bug-bear, that had my daughter take over to try and make sense of… was the on-going hassle over my rent. Geoff and I each  had half the rent taken out of our pensions. That was fine, until he died. Within days I had fulfilled my obligation to inform the housing authority, put in a new form and income statement, and believed it was as it should be.

rent arrearsThen I received a phone call from the manager of my rental. She told me the account was in arrears and she was still trying to work out what I should be paying. She needed a new income statement. I could not understand why the arrears, because the rent was taken from my pension before I received it. When she sent me a copy of the rent page it was apparent what was wrong, and I wrote a detailed letter explaining that the arrears were the attempts to take rent from Geoff’s pension and he was no longer receiving one.

Well, I don’t want all of this to be about my rent, which was a background, and on-going issue while new stuff started falling all around me.

What it really has made me aware of is how difficult it is to stay standing when there is no one to talk about it with. (Yes, my daughter took over, face to faceand I much appreciated it, but she is in a high-level occupation, and has a family.  I had no one to sit down and talk about it with.)

These are the things a person living alone faces, as well as…no one to say ‘good morning’ to, or hear it back. And of course, no ‘goodnights’, ‘how are you’ etc.

It is very quiet inside four walls. (Sometimes that is good, but when things all start going wrong, it is harder to work though.)

So I have to ask myself, what am I doing to say ‘hello’ to someone else living alone?

Just thinking

Susan

PS – I believe the rental problem has finally been worked out, and the other ‘mistakes’ are being wiped. 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Calamities and loneliness

  1. Patty B

    God bless you – I understand all too well, although my daughter lives with me, she has a life of her own. At least though I do have her to sit down with me at dinner and sometimes at breakfast. As I too experienced some problems for the first time alone the thing that was the hardest was not having Tom to discuss them with. Being a military wife I got used to taking care of things myself and knowing when to ask for help, but I always had Tom either here at home, in phone calls, letters and later emails. It is not the same is it? Whenever you need someone to “talk” to that understands I am here for you – because of Gods love for us we are not truly alone, we have each other to walk through this time and our husbands forever in our hearts. {hugs}

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    • Hold the Faith

      Having been carer for many years, I was used to organising too. But as you say, with a husband to talk things through. I very much appreciate my daughter and have been amazed at what she has done for me. I also appreciate your offer of ‘listening’. Many are kind and caring, but only those who have experienced it, have an understanding. Thank you Patty. I hope you are doing okay.

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      • Patty B

        And it is an experienced we wish we did not have You are right, a few friends who have gone down this path before me have been a great source of comfort and strength. As you know each day we get stronger. God bless you and comfort you each day. {{Hugs}}

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  2. Hold the Faith

    Thank you Patty. The emotional see-saw is quite disconcerting. 🙂

    Making it worse for myself, I am writing ‘Geoff’s Last Journey’. In writing it, and finding illustrations, I have discovered more about this awful disease. Praise God that neither of us knew in advance.

    You are a good witness to follow. Thank you, God bless and {{Hugs}} to you also

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